


Two Roads Diverged

by virdant



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virdant/pseuds/virdant
Summary: When Anakin finds Shmi Skywalker dying in the Tusken village, he has two choices before him: to remain in the light, or to fall to the dark.or: the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other fic.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 12
Kudos: 135
Collections: The Temple Archives





	Two Roads Diverged

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to Omega over at discord who inspired this fic with their line about the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
> 
> one day i'll stop writing fics that require me to write a custom css page. apparently today is not that day.
> 
> * * *

Anakin’s mother is dying, when he finds her.  
  
---  
  
He holds her in his arms, in the middle of the Tusken village. She is dying, and he was not able to save her. All of the power he has, all of the skills he has learned, and he didn’t free his mother, he couldn’t save his mother, he—  
  
There is a voice in his head.  
  
It sounds like Obi-Wan.

| 

It sounds like Chancellor Palpatine.  
  
“Calm down,” he says. “Be mindful of your feelings.” The voice is cool and calm, like a balm against a burn. “Decisions made in anger rarely turn out well.”

| 

“You could have saved her,” he says, as assured as he always is. “You’re strong enough. You saved Naboo, after all. You could have saved your mother, if you had been here, if the Jedi had let you come.”  
  
He’s heard this before. Ever since he’s become Obi-Wan’s padawan, ever since he arrived at the Jedi temple. Mindfulness, they say.

| 

He’s heard this before. Ever since he met Chancellor Palpatine, ever since he moved to Coruscant. You are so strong, he says.  
  
There is an exercise that they do in the creche. Anakin, at nine, had been older than everybody else when he learned it. He hadn’t wanted to learn it, but Obi-Wan insisted, said it was necessary to be a Jedi. He closes his eyes and focuses on himself.

| 

He’s had many conversations with the Chancellor. Anakin, at nine, had been younger than the others the Chancellor met with. The Chancellor has always taken the time to make him feel older and wiser than he is.  
  
Obi-Wan’s voice guides him.

| 

Chancellor Palpatine’s voice guides him.  
  
“Walk through your feelings with me. Take a deep breath. Now. What are you feeling?”

| 

“Believe in yourself. After all, you know yourself best. You are so strong, after all.”  
  
He is angry.

| 

But he isn’t, yet.  
  
“Who are you angry at?”  
  
The Tuskens. They tortured his mother. They killed her! 

| 

He wasn’t strong enough to save his mother from the Tusken Raiders.  
  
“Why are you angry at them?”  
  
Grief rises, like the suns peeking over the horizon. Because they took my mother away from me, he thinks. 

| 

“No,” Chancellor Palpatine reassures him. “You _are_ strong enough. You could have saved her, if only the Jedi had listened to your dreams. You didn’t have to lose her, if you didn’t want to.”  
  
The grief supersedes the fury for a moment, as he clutches at his mother. Loss, he thinks. I lost her. My mother.  
  
“What are you grieving, Anakin?” Obi-Wan’s voice is gentle. “What did you lose, Anakin?”

| 

He _is_ strong enough. He knows he is. Strong enough to save his mother, for all that his mother is gone. Strong enough to avenge her.  
  
The Tusken Raiders took his mother away from him. They snatched her from him, tortured her, left her bound and helpless. His mother, who had raised him, who had loved him  
  
My mother, he thinks, but that is not what Obi-Wan is asking. He is not asking who Anakin lost, but _what_ Anakin lost.

| 

He could have saved her. He should have saved her. He didn’t save her.  
  
He dreamed about his mother   
  
He lost his mother years ago, he knows, when he left Tatooine and promised not to look back. He let his mother go, just as his mother let him go. He could have clung to her skirts and stayed, but he left, because it had been the right thing to do, to go into the galaxy and do good, the way his mother had always asked him to.

| 

“The Jedi didn’t trust you,” Chancellor Palpatine explains. “They don’t understand your power, so they ignore it. But you, Anakin. You are so strong. You were only a child when you saved my planet. I knew that you were worth keeping an eye on. And I was right, wasn’t I? You _knew_ what would happen to your mother.”  
  
He did not lose his mother today. He lost the chance to save her.  
  
He dreamed of being a great Jedi, of coming back and freeing the slaves, of breaking the shackles from his mother’s arms. He dreamed of him and his mother, together, as radiant as the twin suns, free. 

| 

He did. He dreamed of his mother dying, and his mother is dying now. His dream came true—it wasn’t just a dream, but a vision. It had to be. Because Chancellor Palpatine is right, he’s powerful. He’s powerful enough to come back and free the slaves, to break the shackles from his mother’s arms.  
  
He dreamed—

| 

He dreamed—  
  
“I lost my dream,” Anakin whispers back to Obi-Wan’s voice.

| 

“My dream came true,” Anakin whispers, in steady realization.  
  
He grieves for the chance to save his mother. It was a child’s dream, but he had clung to it, desperately, and now it is gone.

| 

Shmi Skywalker was _his_ mother. And they took her from him, even as he clung to her, desperate, and now she is gone.  
  
Obi-Wan’s voice says, again, “Who are you angry at?”

| 

Chancellor Palpatine’s voice says, again, “You are powerful, Anakin.”  
  
Myself.

| 

He is.  
  
The realization strikes him as sharply as the fury did. Anakin is not angry at the Tuskens, for taking his mother away. He is angry at himself, for being too helpless to save his mother. He is angry that it was the Lars’ that freed his mother from slavery, not him. He is angry that he was not able to save his mother from the Tuskens.

| 

The realization strikes him as sharply as the fury did. He is powerful. He is strong enough to free his mother. He is strong enough to avenge the people who took him away from her. His mother was a slave, and he promised to come back and free her, and he will. He is here on Tatooine, and he will free his mother from where she lies, bound.  
  
He is angry at himself.

| 

He is strong enough.  
  
“Be mindful of your feelings,” Obi-Wan’s voice says, again. “Slow down. Think before you act. To act in anger is to walk into the Dark Side.”

| 

“Believe in yourself,” Chancellor Palpatine’s voice, says again. “You are strong enough. The Jedi, they don’t understand you, my boy. Do it.”  
  
He is angry.

| 

He is powerful.  
  
Anakin draws his lightsaber.  
  
He holds it before him in one hand, cradling his mother’s body in the other.

| 

He holds it before him with both hands.  
  
His mother deserves to rest among the husband she chose. Deserves to rest in peace. He will bring her body back, and he will defend himself if necessary.

| 

He will slaughter every one of these animals that took his mother away from him.  
  
When dawn comes, he brings Shmi Skywalker’s body back to the Lars’.  
  
**Author's Note:**

>   * Follow me on twitter [@virdant](http://virdant.twitter.com)
>   * [Like & retweet on twitter]()
>   * Comment and kudo below
> 



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